to confidence. to peace. to security. to love.
I hold a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, with a minor in Sociology/and an emphasis in Human Development. It took nearly eight years to complete my training because most of my early life was spent living for others. I had not been taught the freedom of being sovereign at that time. Since then, my journey has been shaped not only by academic study but by lived experience—deepening my understanding of personality development, relationships, and the role trauma plays in creating our perspectives. Though I chose not to become a licensed therapist, my time in human services and lifelong dedication to researching human behavior, has guided me to this meaningful work.
Prior to beginning the Meetup group, I spent many years as an investigator in New York state's child protective system. There I saw firsthand the impact of early attachment, our need for connection, and what happens when children (and adults) don’t have it. I never wanted to leave that occupation. But my body had different ideas. Embarking on a self-directed, radical self-love program, I left social work and began seeking what was next for me. Stumbling upon attachment theory in 2022 forever changed my life. Although my own therapeutic training and healing process spanned more than a decade, I did not have familiarity with John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Cindy Hazan, Phillip Shaver, Julie Menanno, and later, Stephen Porges’s work. I’ve now spent more than two years immersed in the study of attachment theory and polyvagal functioning.
I believe learning about attachment theory and how our style develops are powerful tools for understanding ourselves. It teaches us what draws us to others, what shapes our choices, and ultimately how we move around in life. I teach people that learning to navigate your style, and beginning a process of attachment healing is a akin to taking many mini shamanic journeys. Pathways to retrieving and reclaiming parts of ourselves we lost or chose to leave behind. We had good reasons for our choices. We had good data that served us then. But now those same defense mechanisms are getting in the way of becoming our authentic self or having the types of meaningful relationships we want to have. But there is a way. It is not a journey outward, but back to ourselves.
My current Meetup group has become a beautiful community of individuals wanting to enact positive and powerful change in their lives through self-discovery and personal accountability. We grew to nearly 3,000 members in just two years. In addition to social work and this endeavor, I have been a freelance writer for a mental health website and am currently completing a self-love and attachment healing workbook that will be released this year. My approach blends psychological insight with lived wisdom, and offers compassionate education and support for people doing the hard work of healing and self-discovery.
Join me at Meetup every other Sunday. I also offer workshops, one-on-one client sessions, and retreat hosting. Reach out to me at tracy@freetoreturn.com
